Hear XayLi Barclay’s journey as a video content creation expert, her insights into leveraging video for personal branding and business growth, and practical tips for aspiring video creators who want to gain confidence on camera.

BIO

XayLi Barclay, pronouns she/her, is a dedicated Camera Confidence Coach, empowering entrepreneurs, leaders, and professionals to enhance their presence using video content. Specializing in helping individuals stand out and engage their target audience, she offers tailored guidance for attracting, nurturing, and converting viewers effectively. By leveraging her expertise, XayLi enables leaders to create captivating visual experiences, unlock diverse revenue streams, attract lucrative opportunities, and foster genuine connections. And today we get to talk about just that, her method for building confidence on camera.

“This is my season of really working with the people who feel like they’re the underdog, like you feel like you’re working so hard, you’re struggling to grow your audience, but you’ve been creating, you’ve been trying, falling off, trying and falling off. Like there’s something deeper in there that’s really stopping you from doing what you want to do or getting to your next level. And that’s where I feel like I really want to help people dig into that because getting confident and consistent on camera can literally change your life.”

–XayLi Barclay

Transcript

Hey there, and welcome back to another episode of Unbreakable Brands, the podcast where we dive into the resilient strategies and mindsets behind successful women led businesses. Today, I have XayLi Barclay, pronouns she/her, who is a dedicated camera confidence coach, empowering entrepreneurs, leaders, and professionals to enhance their presence using video content.

She specializes in helping individuals stand out and engage their target audience. She offers tailored guidance for attracting, nurturing, and converting viewers effectively. And by leveraging her expertise, she enables you as a leader to create a captivating visual experience. Which then unlocks diverse revenue streams and attracts lots of opportunities for yourself and your business.

Today we get to talk about exactly that confidence on camera. And I am so grateful you’re here on the show.

Thank you, Bethany. I’m so excited to be here. So excited to jump into whatever we get into and for having me.

You and I had a quick interaction at a conference, but you had a talk on stage, which just blew me away. I really want to get into your UNIQ Method™, but before we do that, I like to start with a little bit of background just for anyone listening.

How did you get to the point where you are today as a content creator, teaching specifically camera confidence? Where did you start?

Yeah, I started forever ago and I was first a beauty influencer and I had like an online shop where I would sew and sell clothing. I’m multi passionate, so I was doing all of the things, but the thing that really took off was beauty influencing.

So I started growing a YouTube channel and it started growing pretty quickly and YouTube reached out to me so that they could nurture me. They gave me a channel manager and they started inviting me to YouTube spaces, events. I wonder if they still have YouTube spaces. I don’t know, but they started inviting me to events and I really loved it, but I started thinking, “Wait, I don’t really see an end for me in beauty.”

I didn’t want to be a loctician because I was sure about my hair and my hair journey. I didn’t want to really be in the world of beauty. I love it, but I didn’t want to do that specifically. I couldn’t see an end game there for me. And most of my partnerships then were sponsorships, but they didn’t pay very well.

It was just a mess. And I was like, “I need to figure out a way that I can be in control of the money that I make.” And I realized that people were always asking about how I structure my videos. Like, “How are you so confident?” Like how are you doing this, and I realized, “Oh, I can start answering questions based on video and YouTube.”

And I started to do that and I started making a pivot, which was really scary, but I moved into really covering your video setup, the quality of your videos and all of that. And that led into me creating online courses. And then because I was creating online courses, I started sharing about the platform that I was using, which was Thinkific at the time.

And they reached out like, “Oh my gosh, we’re seeing all that you’re doing. How can we collaborate and work together?” And then they also asked me to come on as one of their experts because of my product and my product suite inside of their platform. And so, I was a smaller creator and I started landing these really big opportunities.

And because of that, I started sharing even more as I grew how to go about doing so, how to build your personal brand on camera, how to get confident and consistent, because that’s where we struggle the most. And that’s really how it started.

Can we go back just a little bit to the pivot, to that moment, was there a singular instance where you’re like, “I’m in, I’m doing the pivot.”

Yeah, I pivoted a few times really, even in that little journey that I just shared. Like there are so many nooks and crannies within that little sub story that I shared, but I feel like when you first know you want to pivot, it’s scary.

And so I remember holding on to the idea of being able to do my beauty channel and coach beauty bloggers. And I was trying every way for a round peg to fit into a square hole, and so I really was trying. I even like go back to my older channel on my YouTube videos, and I see where I have this video where I put glasses on and then I don’t have glasses on trying to say one side of me is a beauty blogger. One side of me is really interested in business. And, you know, I quickly realized that trying to still do all the things was the wrong thing.

The faster that you make up your mind, that you do want to transition and pivot, like don’t delay and try to make things work in the way that you think is going to work. You’re going to confuse the people that really do desire to connect with you and work with you. And still, even after that, I’ve pivoted a few times. But they were more of like, “Okay, it’s time to double down on a specific thing.”

So I had my season of teaching only online courses and online course creation, because that’s what I was doing for bigger clients. And then I had my season of just teaching video challenges and getting people through a specific place on video. Right now I’m in my season of camera confidence. That’s the thing that I am most passionate about in this season. And the thing that I see that people are really struggling with, even bigger creators, they have amazing programs and people still end up coming back to me.

Like, “Hey, I couldn’t implement because there are certain mindset blocks or just strategies and things that I didn’t know. And I’m still kind of stuck. Can you help me, you know, figure this all out?” And so, this is my season of really working with the people who feel like they’re the underdog, like you feel like you’re working so hard, you’re struggling to grow your audience, but you’ve been creating, you’ve been trying, falling off, trying and falling off. Like there’s something deeper in there that’s really stopping you from doing what you want to do or getting to your next level. And that’s where I feel like I really want to help people dig into that because getting confident and consistent on camera can literally change your life.

Yeah, absolutely. I love the through line there, how like each season has its place. And I love that you spoke to that because I think As content creators or anyone in a creative space, we have to leave room for seasons. Otherwise, there can be a lot of burnout or exhaustion or other things that come with it. And so, especially if you’re multi-passionate. I’m a manifesting generator, so I feel that I used to sink into whatever it is that I’m interested in.

Today, entrepreneurs, business owners, literally everyone who has to be representing their business brand company, we all have to have video in some format. And I mean, it’s a major hurdle to begin with to get on video. And then beyond that, there’s so many other pieces. I know you talked about your UNIQ Method™, but what would you say starting out to folks who are just even having a hard time getting on video. Let’s start there and then dive deeper and deeper.

Yeah, I think when it comes to being on camera, we just see so many things happening online and we see so many personalities and all the things and we really are nervous because we haven’t tapped into seeing ourselves in that light, right? So usually there’s a bit of a disconnect of the person that you think you are and the person that you appear as on camera. It’s kind of like, “I don’t know who that person is or, or do I have to do what Marianne is doing? Or Susan is, you know, really excited and lively. And so I have to be like that. Is there room for me to be myself? Am I too loud? Am I, you know, too mid or boring?” Like all of these things. And on top of that, you have a business to run and you’ve got to market and sell. So all of those things are just really frustrating and confusing, you know, trying to process all of that at the same time.

And I say it’s a muscle, right? It’s a skill that you build. So, of course, don’t ever expect perfection from yourself when you are first getting started. The other thing is, and I shared this on Threads and it went wild the other day, you are the only person expecting that level of perfection from yourself. Nobody else is looking for that from you. So give yourself that room to breathe and grow.

But what I love saying is there is a unique, there’s something that’s so special about you that you may know, your family and friends may know it, the people around you may know it. And that’s the thing that I feel like you need to amplify so that you can start.

Crafting your own space, every opportunity that I’ve been given was me sharing my specific experience or a story or something around a product, tool, person, listen, you name it, right? And I believe in alignment, when you’re growing as well. Like, what are you connected to? What are you excited about? What is the conversation that you really care about having in this season?

And I’m really big on that because I feel like we do need to get people to know us for something specific, and then you can move on. But, you know, you really want to focus and double down on something for a season so that you can really gain traction there, especially if you don’t care to speak about the same thing forever. Because that’s the struggle.

I have one follow up question to that, like looking through your content, I really love your openness about everything and your vulnerability. And I think there’s such a level of that when you show up on camera, but also a level of that that you have to be willing to give. And you can correct me if I’m wrong. From my perspective, that is what could lead to the opportunities. I mean, even big partnerships with people because they’re seeing you already so authentically representing, how you’re using something. So I just wanted to hear you speak to that a little bit in your own experience.

I love that question. You’re absolutely right. It’s the thing that has gotten me to every level. If I look back at like what has really made a difference for me and that’s how I create my frameworks, like, “What has made a difference for me?” But the thing that I always do is I always dig into others as well. And I love researching and deep diving and like, “Is this just me and I’m crazy or has it been working for other people for years?” And then I go do all the research. I get obsessed with it, but being vulnerable is something that.

I mean, if you open any app right now and you ask yourself, like, “What is stopping my scroll?” It’s literally someone sharing something about themselves that connects you to them on a deeper level. And some of us have that skill naturally, and some of us have to build that skill. Either way, it is quite possible.

And you know, that is literally why I created the UNIQ Method™, because I realized that people didn’t understand how to tap into that relatability. One, like there is something about you that connects so deeply to someone else, but you just don’t know what it is. You’re just not sure exactly what makes you unique so that you can connect it back to all that you do and the way that you can help people and amplify your presence.

So that’s really how I think about it. Relatability and vulnerability, those are two skills. Everyone doesn’t have it that easily. But as when you figure out what is like different about you, what is your unfair advantage or the thing that nobody else, like, when you’re looking at people in your industry and you’re like, “Ooh, I could have said that better or I could have done that better.” And you have to dig into yourself sometimes because sometimes you’re looking at someone that is bigger than you and you’re thinking, “Oh man, this person is amazing.”

But ask yourself, “What do I think about this topic? What’s my perspective or POV? What would I add to what they just said?” Ask yourself those questions and you’ll start uncovering a lot of times we don’t spend enough time on our own unique experiences and how we can share those with other people.

Yes. Yes, exactly. Exactly. Okay, so that said, let’s talk about the UNIQ Method™, because there’s four components, and break it down for us.

So the UNIQ Method™ is based on being unique, right? So it is four pillars. The U is really uncovering your story. A lot of us hear about storytelling all the time, and this is why I created this method because we hear, tell more stories, stories, stories, storytelling, but no one is telling us, “Well, how do I do that?” Or, “What’s the story or how can I dig into it?” And I’m a big believer of sharing your story so that people are able to connect with you even in your everyday videos and your content, but you have to first sit with yourself and uncover those stories that you can tell and share over and over.

It’s like creating a big story bank so that you have a story for every person and situation. It’s kind of like, we’re having a conversation and I say to you, “Well, Bethany, you know, yesterday I had eggs for breakfast and I’m going through that time of the year that happens every year where I get the egg ick, and I’m like, ooh, I’m really eating baby chickens right now.” And then I have other times where I love eggs and then what that makes you do is you start thinking about your own like thought or story or when last have I eaten eggs or I ate eggs this morning or it’s kind of like that, like sharing something that really helps someone else connect to you.

So that’s the U, uncovering your stories. And N is navigating your industry. And it’s still based on stories, but telling stories that help you actually position yourself as an expert. Like a lot of people are forgetting to share those things. Like, what do you genuinely think about what’s going on in your industry right now? what are the trends that are happening? What are your thoughts about it? What is your unique perspective. What is the thing that no one can take away from what you think when it comes to your industry. Like I have a list of prompts that goes even deeper, but oh my gosh, it’s so important to know these things so that you can share it.

I see so many people that don’t know what’s going on in their industry. And they’re not sharing any of this or if they share it, it’s not a story. It’s just information. We’re tired of information. I don’t want to see any more like, just, you know, graphics, there has to be some depth to what you’re sharing. Like, put the medicine in the honey or candy or whatever it is, right?

That’s kind of where we are today. And so it’s really important to know how to do that. And as soon as you figure out your stories and what you want to share, I promise you sometimes, like sometimes I look at like my friends or peers or the people that are following me or around me in the industry. And I’m like, how did I get here? Like, what the heck, but it’s because I’m able to understand how to navigate my industry versus saying, I’ve been doing this for 10 years because a lot of our people have been doing what they’re doing for so many years. And nobody knows you’re the best kept secret in your industry.

And if you do desire a change, you have to understand how to share your stories that are connected to you, just navigating that industry. Now, the third part, the I, is incorporating everyday experiences. That was an everyday experience that I shared just now. My egg ick, that’s what I’m going through right now. But, maybe that can connect me to something that’s going on in my business right now that’s a bit icky. Like right now we’re redoing a bunch of sales pages and webinars and I’m like, “Oh my God,” but it’s something that I have to do. And that simple everyday experience can tie back to something in the business that I can speak about and connected to a call to action that I desire to share.

But it’s so important for us to observe what’s going on every day or what’s something that happened that I could share. Cause life is about little lessons that happen every single day. I’m sure you can think about something so simple that happened this morning. That’s a micro lesson that you can share and also sharing everyday. It humanizes you. I don’t think business is only all about business. The pillar for me that really does it is when I share my everyday experiences, even in my stories or you know, like people love connecting to what it is that you have going on. It doesn’t always have to be about business specifically.

You are a person and that’s okay. Last year at the top of the year, I shared like how I was using my walking path to get more done in business and, oh my gosh, the post went crazy. Now I have a link that just shares the walking path. Cause they’re like, “I need the link,” you know, simple things like that connect you back, humanizes you.

People talk about it to me all the time. You know, granted, there are other people out there sharing their walking paths and how they use them. But it’s just my experience. I found out that if you don’t walk, it’s like you decrease the amount of years that you live. If you only, you know, walk 2000 steps or like three and that’s scary.

Listen, I have things to do. I don’t need to. So I shared that. Now that was a personal experience. That was me reading that and and realizing, oh my gosh, no, I need to share this ’cause somebody else needs this message as well. And I shared what I was doing to overcome that.

So there are different things that you could share with an everyday experiences and weave it into your content. And the last one, the Q, is your quest for authenticity. Like, oh my gosh, recently I heard that the only emotion that is more powerful than love is authenticity. And I’ll tell you why we can feel when someone is being genuine, especially on video. And I think for, well, for me as a creative, what I see most out there with our clients, students, we love to build and hide.

We love to do the thing and then show it to the world versus showing everything to the world—not everything, I should never have said that word—but showing relevant things to the world as we’re processing them. For example, at the top of the year, I actually launched an affirmation card line for creators.

I could have hid away and done that project and then came out and said, “Hey, everyone, like I’ve been working so hard on these cards and all that.” No, I actually shared step by step. I had them help me choose the size of the cards, the colors, what they liked, what they didn’t like, what felt like, “Oh, this inspires me or, you know, what’s this kind of thing.” And that’s scary.

But when I tell you those cards sold out as soon as we released them, because people were part of the process and I was being authentic. I was even laughing at myself when I got proofs in and sharing and like, it was a whole like little party on my Instagram. And so a part of me could have felt like, “Oh my gosh, I don’t want to show this to the world.”

Even after we launched, I changed the box design twice because I was still figuring it out. And that just shows you that if we could go out and buy an iPhone that we don’t even know what they’re updating or doing, or look how many times we update it or upgrade. No one is asking questions; launch your product. It doesn’t have to be perfect. And to the perfectionists out there, “Who are you judging others?” Judge yourself.

And we’re human. I think that the best communities that we can build in the online space is based on our authentic journey, being just true to yourself and honest, that will always feel most comfortable because you always want what you’re doing to feel like home.

So that’s the UNIQ Method™.

It’s so good. I loved the breakfast example at the beginning because there’s the common phrase, no one wants to see what you ate for breakfast, which has been thrown around the creator space since forever, but it’s like, well, no one wants to see what you eat for breakfast if that’s where it ends.

Exactly. That’s so good. You’re so right. People do say that.

They do. But it’s like, I want to know if you’re going to tell me about your egg ick because like we’ve all been in that place before. I want to know if you have a food fixation and put weird things together. You know, like those are the things I want to know about.

And even when we look at, you know, there’s a big difference between creators and I want to say creators as in like business owners, entrepreneurs versus like influencers and content creators, it’s very different, but a lot of business owners are jealous of the traction and engagement that the influencers get, right? Like the numbers and the virality. And even though that’s not what you need or should be focused on, if you are a business owner, you can also tap into that. And what you’re tapping into, like I said before, is that relatability factor. That factor of being able to influence others to purchase your product, to sit with you on a consultation, it’s not only about the rigid structure of a business, there’s marketing involved and that’s what influencers are really great at. So even with the method is extracting the parts that we need, but also, you’re still navigating your specific industry, right?

You’re still sharing your everyday experiences and you don’t have to share them every day, but it’s great to have a bank of stories that you’re mindful of that are happening. And that quest, like we look at people on TV, online, sharing their journey. And I promise you, you’re going to see more of that in the business space as the years go on, you know?

Oh yeah, I think that’s a major change in business in general is like, as I build brands for businesses, I say, we need to put your people first, your humans first. And what I’m hearing from you too, is to add on, like, are you putting your humans first by being human? And if you don’t have that, then you’re like missing a key component to connection, I think, which is so powerful and what we all want.

I love the bank of stories, too, that you said. Now I literally feel like I need to write these down. Because I think they’re floating around, you know, but do you do that? Do you have a bank of stories that you’ve written down that you come back to? Or is that something I just made up in my head? Cause I’m a type A person.

No, I actually do. I definitely do. And I definitely recommend it for everyone. And that’s actually what the UNIQ Method™ is for. It’s you creating that bank of stories. So we actually have a list of prompts to help you create stories in all of those categories. It’s free. You can get it at theuniqmethod.com. And then I have a course where I teach you exactly how I’ve done it specifically and how you can build your story bank. I give examples, I pull posts from my socials and I actually show you the structure of it and how you can create your own stories, but in alignment with your offers, your products, your services, building community, like whatever your goal is, like connecting that story back to whatever you’re doing at the moment.

While we’re talking about stories, do you have one in your back pocket of someone who’s taken what they’ve learned from you, whether through the course or just by watching you, and seen like crazy success? Because I’d love to hear those results.

Yes, I actually was in one of our mastermind sessions yesterday, and one of my clients took it over to LinkedIn. And so she started using the UNIQ Method™ and writing stories. And she was mind blown at how people were responding and engaging. She had never seen that kind of engagement on her LinkedIn profile.

For me, I was like, “Oh, that’s so good because people aren’t really sharing stories over there per se.” You know, LinkedIn is a bit of a different platform. So it was genius of her to take the method and use it on a platform like LinkedIn, where she is now connecting on a deeper level with people who weren’t even thinking about getting to know her better.

But also in reading all of the comments, I’m seeing exactly what I was sharing with you. They’re loving what she is sharing and also sharing their own little stories in the comments. So that there’s nothing like building community in that way.

**Yeah, especially on a space like LinkedIn, which I think is so underutilized, but also feels a little like we’re in suit and tie, you know, like, and I like, that’s how we’re doing it. I was taught to use it in the beginning or everyone was, you know, it’s your resume or whatever. But I see that shift on there with creators to sharing more and more stories. So I bet she like just, just the shining star because people are scrolling and it’s like boring and then they get to the story and they’re like, “Oh my God, thank God.”

Yeah, exactly.

I always like to talk a little bit about trends. So I’m going to pivot towards that because I think trends in the space of video content creation is something that you’d be on top of. So what do you see happening in the next few years in terms of trends emerging out of the world of video beyond the storytelling piece?

Storytelling for sure is one, but just the authenticity factor needs to be turned up and it will be required so much more as we grow or as we progress in the industry because of AI, right? I mean, I can get ChatGPT to write me a script for YouTube, in five seconds or like under a minute, and someone else in my industry can do the same thing, but what makes you different is your authentic experience.

And as I’ve created lately with more of a, uh, just amplifying that authenticity, we’re seeing different numbers because of that. Like, if I ramble a bit or like I, I’m, I’m always laughing or smiling, like leaving those things in versus removing them. So you’re personality as well as something that is going to push you further, especially now because of AI.

Everyone’s going to be saying the same thing, doing the same thing. You really have to turn up the volume on what makes you different or figuring out, like I said before, what’s your unfair advantage? What’s the thing that is like, “Oh, you can’t deny me on this. That’s really what it is.

I feel like authenticity or the authenticity factor is going to be really, really, really needed and pushed way more. I think we’re going to be doing less over-editing. And I think conversations are going to continue to be a huge thing, even if it’s a solo conversation, because we really just want to listen to other people and hear other people. Honest, genuine experiences that people are having and learn from those experiences. So I feel like in the next few years, that’s definitely what’s going to be happening or just more of that, but also with the use of AI. So, I’m not saying don’t use AI. I love AI. There are things that make my workflow so much easier, or I use it as a companion, like let’s brainstorm together.

Now I have a brainstorm buddy, but just thinking about how much authenticity you can still bring to the work that you do, even though you’re using AI.

Yes. I 100 percent agree. And AI, like we’re adapting and we can sniff it out. Like there’s certain words even where I’m like, “Oh, they generated that.”

Unlock and unveil.

Unleash.

Treasure trove.

Yep. Oh my gosh. And we’ve already adapted to that, which like immediately, I don’t even think there was like that much time before we had adapted to that. And so there’s that craving for the exact opposite and like looking to see if people can do that over time. I feel like we’re looking for, I don’t know if the word is consistency or just like, we want you to show up as yourself. And then if we see it a few times, we’re like, “Oh, that is who you are.”

I love that. No, you’re absolutely right. Because it is everywhere. I think about sales pages or emails that I wrote while brainstorming with AI maybe a year ago, you’re still gonna get some unlocks and treasure troves, right?

Oh, for sure. There’s for sure some in my stuff. Like, I know I’ve missed a few. My ChatGPT is called Carrie for like Carrie Bradshaw, who’s actually my writer. But like, Carrie messes up, you know? Like, she’ll reuse. So, we can’t catch them all.

Exactly. So, you know, it’s, it’s going to be there. That’s perfect Patty coming in again. Like you can’t say unlock ever again. That’s not what it’s about, but like you said, working with the tool, like working with Carrie versus letting Carrie just do all the things.

It’s gotta be another step beyond that for the end product.

As we close out, I’d love to hear what’s next on the horizon. And then also, where can people find you and connect with you beyond your website, all the places that you are?

My favorite platform is actually YouTube. So you can follow me on YouTube, but my most intimate platform is Instagram, so I’m always in the stories. I’m always in my DMs back and forth with people, so definitely hop into my DMs and say hello if you are on Instagram. That’s where I really connect with my community and where I probably need to cut back on the time that I spend in my ideas.

What’s coming up next? I’m actually creating a free masterclass right now that is really focused on my people that feel invisible and if you’re looking to get out of that feeling of no one is seeing you, hearing you, just that fear of like, what if I do this thing? What if it blows up? What if it doesn’t? All of that.

We’re really crafting a masterclass to help you go from invisible to in-demand. But I’m actually really helping you figure out the things that you need to know when it comes to video as your tech set up, what you should be sharing and saying when you first get started, or if you do decide to double down and get serious, the kind of content you need to be thinking about.

And of course, we’re going to go deeper into the UNIQ Method™ in that class. And it’s all free. If you’re on Instagram, you’ll see when I share it, depending on when this episode comes out.